Strength

Strength is - the state, property or quality of being strong. There is mental strength, emotional strength, physical strength and spiritual strength. I am working on strengthening all four of these aspects of my life.

The journey of weight loss can be very exhausting in all of these areas. I find myself questioning 'facts' that I have always believed to be true. For example, all of my life I would look at a thin person and think to myself, 'boy are they lucky!' The implication was always that it was easier for other people to lose weight and maintain it. I have learned over the past 8 months that no one has it 'easy' when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Another example is that I always considered myself emotionally strong. I would think to myself, 'I am a strong woman. I know my own mind...I know how to get what I want.' Now, I question myself - A LOT. Why don't I like skiing? Why can't I run? What is keeping me from doing things that I always thought were not for me?

Emotionally losing 75 pounds can be exhausting because I am constantly afraid I'll fall 'off the wagon' of weight loss. I am not as concerned with losing anymore as maintaining but I find myself struggling NOT to chastise myself when I have a cookie or I eat a bowl of ice cream. I have to remind myself, constantly, that I am in this for the long haul - it's not just a daily event.

Spiritually losing all of this weight has made me really reconsider my own spirituality. I am a strong Christian, of course that hasn't changed, but the reality of what I was doing to my body for years has hit home. How was I taking care of my 'temple'? Well, I wasn't! So, the guilt creeps in sometimes and makes me so thankful that we serve a forgiving God.

So, sometimes I sit back and think about this journey I'm on. I never ran - now I can run 3 miles. I used to think I would never get my weight under 200lbs and now I am well under. And, if I've learned one thing over the past 8 months it's that I have a lot more power than I ever thought I had; I have a lot more courage than I ever thought I had; and my abilities are far surpassing what I ever thought they were!